There’s a war going on inside me—one I didn’t expect and definitely didn’t sign up for. My heart and my brain are in this never-ending tug-of-war, pulling me in opposite directions, and I’m stuck in the middle, trying to figure out what’s right.
On paper, everything screams “let him go.” We’re so different it’s almost comical. His world and mine are like two parallel lines that’ll never meet. His favorite band? I’d skip their concert even with free tickets. My closest friends? They feel like strangers in his company. Even our families—two completely different planets. And while he dreams of a carefree future, I want stability, goals, and a clear path forward.
But then there’s the way he looks at me. The way he remembers all the little things, like how I take my coffee or how I can’t fall asleep without a random podcast playing in the background. He loves me, and not in the fleeting, easy way. He’s all in. And that’s what makes this so hard.
If you’re here reading this, maybe you’re feeling the same way—confused, guilty, and unsure if you’re being selfish for wanting more. I want you to know: it’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to question what’s right for you, even if someone else is giving you their everything. Love is complicated, and so are we.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned through all this thinking: Sometimes, letting go is an act of love—not just for yourself but for the other person too.
Why Letting Go Is Necessary
Staying in a relationship where you’re not completely in it—for the right reasons—can slowly chip away at both of you. It’s not fair to him if I stay just because he loves me or because I’m scared I won’t find someone better. And it’s not fair to me if I keep ignoring that voice in my head telling me this isn’t the life I want.
Compatibility isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the foundation for a happy, long-term relationship. Sure, opposites attract, but can they sustain? Can you build a future with someone when your visions for that future don’t align? For me, the answer feels like no.
It doesn’t mean his love isn’t real or that he isn’t enough. He’s amazing in so many ways. But if I’m honest, the version of “forever” he dreams about isn’t the one I see myself in. And forcing myself to fit into his life—or trying to make him fit into mine—will only hurt us both in the long run.
The Hardest Part
Letting go feels like cutting off a part of me, and it’s terrifying. But I have to remind myself (and you) that it’s not a failure. It’s a choice—a brave one. To let him find someone who truly matches his world. To give myself a chance to find the kind of love that fits seamlessly, where my brain and my heart don’t have to fight for control.
If you’re in this place, know that it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss him. And it’s okay to doubt yourself. But don’t settle for a love that doesn’t feel whole to you, even if it’s almost there. Life has a way of bringing us the people and experiences we need, exactly when we’re ready for them.
So, take a deep breath. It’s going to hurt, but you’ll heal. And one day, you’ll look back and know you did the right thing—for both of you.
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